By Madhurima Ghosh –
As a grown-up we all understand the importance of studies. Studies pave the way of having a settled future, a respectable position in the society and a way of making money to lead life. Parents often become agitated and treat their children with harsh words when they do not invest time in studies or perform poorly in the school curriculum. It is a general tendency to tag the student as restless or simply naughty and he/she doesn’t want to study. But it is very important to understand as to WHY a teenager doesn’t want to or doesn’t feel like studying?
Firstly, when children enter into teenage days, they undergo a lot of changes, physical as well as mental. Parents mostly do not acknowledge this as everyone is going through the same but the point is even though every teenager is going through the same process, everyone does not respond to it in the similar way. In a crucial age like teen (13yrs to 19yrs), children get exposed tofeelings of deep friendships, love emotions, break ups, intimacy arousals, addiction for cigarette or alcohol etc. All these experiences are new to them and these experiences/feelings turn out to be way more important in their life than any other things like studying. Mind being obsessed with new crush or booze party with best friends or pain from a breakup cannot really focus on long chemistry equations. These feelings can even be so strong that it can lead the children to the path of suicide or a crime. Teenagers are not matured enough to identify the things that hold real value in life.
Secondly, parents when suddenly realize that their children is inlove relationship or are caught having alcohol or in an intimate moment parents hit their children, may even lock them in for days and expect them to improve but in reality this harsh treatment take them further away from reality. They consider parents as their greatest enemy and confide in anyone who pretends to understand, not realizing whether this “anyone” is actually a friend or enemy in disguise
Thirdly, parents often superimpose their dreams on their children without making sure whether their child is dreaming about the same. This constant one sided pressure does not bring any good outcome. Children lose focus in studies and look for an escapein television or smart phone because it is not their dream.
Being a parent is a huge responsibility. In spite of being in mid 40s to think like a teen is a challenge. But to bring out the best in the pupil one has to be their friend. Listen to their stories, stories of friendship, stories of love and stories of break up. It is very natural for them to experience this at teenage. Console themthen slowly explain how studies are more important for this moment and not the break up. How love emotions would come back in their life later but not the board scores. How friends will remain for life but the chance to get into prestigious career path wont. Rather than imposing the dream on the children influence them to live the dream. Make them dream for it. If they dream for it, they will run towards it. Lastly, invest time to be with them while they study.
For the teenagers, time flows unidirectional. There is no time machine that can take life back to teenage days to correct the mistakes, the days which build up your personality, your career.The days when the minds are most fertile and when addressed in the right way can reap great benefits for future. Currently it might feel that a nominal life will be good enough but onreaching 30 regrets can arise-“there was so much that could have been done but I did not do”. This is the time take the initiativefor the best future.